While taking a hot shower today, I began to stare into space and reflect. I'm no longer like how I was during Os period last year. Geraldine says it's due to the lack of competition now. I think it's true to a certain extent, but it's mainly because I don't have a goal.
Last year, I had a clear goal and I pasted it on my wall; "I want to conquer Os" It may seem stupid but I stared at it day and night and it probably given me this drive unknowingly. Now that I've achieved that goal, I'm lost and unaware of how to continue this journey. Yes I know I'm working towards University but for what course? And what am I gonna be in future? Everything remains ambiguous.
I don't even know why should I work hard anymore.
Just now when we were in the car, my daddy told me that he wants to stop driving after this year. Alongside with my mom's unemployment, I know the family's income is gonna run low. But I know he's tired of driving. Besides I'm the only one in the family who cannot support herself. If I can support myself, he can enjoy retirement fully.
So sometimes I wish I could go out to work. Yet again, I am already struggling with my studies, how do I find time for work?
And tonight, I set a new goal. I am gonna work hard for my family, for my parents. This time I won't paste a "I can conquer As" poster on my wall. I'll probably keep a family picture in my wallet and each time I look at it, I hope it'll keep me going.
Seriously, family's everything. Everything. They mean the world to me.
Mommy Daddy Ahting Ahjing Gx Mama Gonggong I love you<3
I promise I'll try my best to mature, to stop being spoilt, to stop my materialistic desires, to wake up and contribute to this family.
Today is mothers' day. I just wanna say that my mom is one great woman who contributes silently. One who cooks delicious dishes for everyone.She may not express her love verbally but through her actions, we know she cares. I love you mommy.
all 3 of them have the same watching-tv pose hahahh.
Press on Emilia, press on.
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