What scares me

Been thinking about death recently. Just before I went to sleep the night before yesterday, I couldn't keep my mind still. I don't know why but I suddenly thought of death. What happened if I just pass away one day? I'll be all alone, without my parents or anyone else. I wouldn't know what would happen to me or where would I go; everything remains unknown. And I tell you what, that feeling's indescribably scary. The feeling of the unknown.

Then I asked my mom about this and she told me about a story of her friend. Just 2 days ago(it's weird that it's such a coincidence eh?) she visited her friend who is only in her 40s yet she has contracted cancer(final stage). My mom saw how frail she was and her heart ached. She said hello to her. Despite the fact that she  was weak and dazed, she still muttered a "Lilian" to acknowledge my mom.

Instantly, my mom was touched and she cried on the spot. My mom said she knew that her friend was in pain, but she's still holding on. Even though every move she made hurt a lot, she still insisted on moving.
I guess I can feel how she's feeling. She's scared of death plus she's so young, still. She's struggling to stay alive and as long as she knows that she's still keeping her breath, it doesn't matter how much pain she must endure.

Life's really fragile and short. In the past, I mentioned the word "death" too easily and quickly. Somehow teens would go through this point of time when every single thing in their life is screwed up and they'll just stupidly say they want to end their lives.

Come to think of it, it's really stupid. While others like my mom's friends are enduring excruciating pain to feel herself alive, some of us here are taking our lives too lightly. We'll never know what's going to happen tomorrow and we cannot predict.

To add on, I went to Cindy's grandmother's wake last night. It got me thinking further. It dawned upon me that I must cherish the people around me; my grandparents, my parents, my sisters and my loved ones. Especially my grandparents.


Good health is really of paramount importance and nothing beats it. So for now, for my birthday wishes, I'll probably wish for the same thing; good health for my loved ones and myself.

As for death, no doubt I'm still scared and terrified to even think of it, but I guess it's a process that everyone will go through. As long as my loved ones are there with me till my very last breath, I'll be brave.
AND C'MON I'M STILL SO YOUNG RIGHT:) I SHLDN'T BE THINKING ABOUT SUCH STUFF.
Then again, life is short. But the difference is, how we live our lives. How we live it to the fullest to help everyone and anyone. N-T-S: Do more meaningful things each day!

And err this is really weird, but I saw this strand of hair on my dad's mole yesterday HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And I went like,"it's so ugly. What if my mole will have it too?" Then I began to complain about my face yada yada yada and he just told me that at the very least, I have good health.
I'm thankful for my good health:) So people, stay healthy and happy!


P/s: I'm not affected by my FAT face for now, at least I'm healthy right:) And note to self: No more instant noodles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!