So I went to read my archives @ lovedand-lost.blogspot.com. Around early 2008 I had this nightmare that my dog died and I cried like shit when I woke up. Then during oct 08, it really happened.
That vet, that liar. I remember it clearly. My dog was feeling sick and stuff, so my grandfather brought her to the vet. He gave her some injection and told us she only had a few more months to live. Months my foot!!!
The next day she was barking, non-stop @ my oldest sis's room. She was in pain, I could rly tell.I remember I had school that day, so when I got back, I was exhausted.I cried agn when I saw her in pain.But I was feeling rly exhausted,so I went to my mom's room to lie on her bed to rest.In the end,I fell asleep.
The next thing I knew,one of my family member shook me up and told me that she's gone. I panicked and immediately ran to my sister's room.There she lay,motionless.I couldn't help it,I cried as though as a family member of mine left us. Anyway she is a family member to me! 13 years with us,I don't regard her as our pet.I regard her as family.
I went bonkers,went crazy,cried every single tear that was in me. I called Dickson,cos he knew the whole thing.I kept crying and complaining to him,I kept asking him why.why why why.why must she leave us.why did the vet lie.and I could tell he was rly scared+helpless as he heard me cry.It was the first time I cried like that,in my entire life.I cried as though as,the world was gonna end.
I didn't want to go near her.My grandfather,being the closest to her,cried loudly.That was the first time I saw him crying like that, my heart ached further.
When I finally went close to her,I touched her and her body was as hard as stone.Hardened.My uncle then came and they thought of how to bring her to the place to cremate her.I rmb tht place.That place tht reeks of medicine and stuff.And smell of dogs.It's near town.The 190 bus route,on the way to FEP,aft you exit the highway,thr's a petrol station.Behind it,yes that's the place.
So they thought of how to keep her body.In the end,they put her in this bag and carried her down.Her body was still warm.Reached that place and they opened the car's boot to carry her out.I remember very clearly,the bag that contained her hit the car,and I cried.Very rudely,I raised my voice and told them to be careful,otherwise she'll get hurt.And my mom told me,"she's dead already.stop it."I was hit by the truth once agn.
As they brought her to this room,this cold room,and as they left her on the table,I touched her body once agn.I didn't want to leave,but my mom kept telling me to leave,and that she's already gone.Couldn't take it.That stupid vet.Months my foot.One day aft the injection,she died.Wth.
Following tht,I had no appetite.I remember I was having common tests.SS and mathe.I didn't study,my mom didn't blame me,at all.She knew how dear my dog was to me.My grandfather continued to cry in the middle of the night,but soon it became okay.
Months passed.I went to watch Marley and Me with XX and tommy.Marley,the dog,died.I was agn reminded of how my dog died.I cried bitterly in the cinema,with the two guys feeling helpless.I couldn't help it.
It's been more than a year now.I don't care how ppl may think.That she's only a dog?!But shut up ok,to me,she's family.She's rlly family.And I love her a lot.I tell her my unhappiness.I don't know if she understands me or not,but I'll tell her anyway.Sometimes she'll turn her head away and ignore me but I still love her.I love kissing her wet nose.I love stroking her head over and over agn.
I rmb I told my mom I wna hug her to sleep.And I rly like hugging her.When I was young,I was naughty so sometimes I'd treat her as a horse and ride on her.Despite doing such stuff,I loved her a lot. There was once she was sick and had to stay with the vet.She kept barking at my aunt(who bought her)and I.Seems like she doesn't want us to leave her there. And I felt like tearing,but she was sick,we didn't have a choice..
Thr's just so many memories about her.
Typing this post,thinking about it makes me cry all over agn.But I rly miss her a lot...
I'll never forget how you grew up with me.Never. :(
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